Though I didn’t get to celebrate Ruki-chans birthday the way I thought I would, I DID manage to finish up the third chapter of a rather special fanfiction I made for her and lil’ strawberry-kun.

Well, about 24 more minutes until Rukia-chans birthday is officially over. Oh, and yeah. I’m done with the whole “Nothing but Rukia” event.

Lol normally, I wouldn’t do things like this. But it just goes to show just how special this midget is. Hahaha.

You act as if without you, we would starve to death, not have as much money as we need, end up in jail ETC. We live perfectly fine without you! And all I’m doing is just waiting for the day when I’m old enough to get a proper job to get enough money. And don’t call her stupid for working her butt off on her job! At least she’s TRYING unlike you! You’re an adult with a job yet yoi decide go stay home and go on the laptop. Its true, you make more money than her. But really though, what difference is it gonna make if you don’t try to put twice the amount of effort as she has? I’d rather run away with her and my brothers and have a decent job and money than to continue living with a conceded lazy person like you.

The horrible feeling that you get when you see something that you didn’t intend on seeing? You just feel like crying your eyes off right then and there…. ” Why would he/she do that to me? ” and ” This doesn’t even make any sense! ” runs back and forth through your head cause you just dont understand that painful feeling…. You dont know who to blame and who to be mad with, and you just want to tell to them straight up about what you saw and how you felt. But all you can do is act like it didn’t even bother you at all when in the inside, it’s killing you. Cause if you did tell them straight up, you’d be concerned about the drama that you’ve caused over that thing that made you upset….

It sucks. And you just can’t take back the words that you’ve said. It doesn’t hurt to you but it does to the other person, and if you really cared about them, then you wouldn’t have let them go and wouldn’t have had this feeling. You regret everything you say. Actions may be more powerful than words, but words can hurt too. And even of you apologize, it wouldn’t make that big of a difference cause things will never be the same as they were before…

I’m sorry for always talking back. I don’t mean it… I still love you. I really do. But sometimes, I just get so upset at everything that my mouth starts to have a mind of its own. And when I see the pain in your eyes, it just makes me so mad that I want to punch myself…. I’m sorry that I make things complicated for you. I feel horrible for always seeing you up so early for work. I dislike the look in your tired eyes when you finally come home from work… I’m really grateful that I have you, even though I dont show it as often. I LOVE YOU MOM. AND THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME, RAISING ME, AND GIVING UP YOUR DREAMS JUST FOR ME :)

When so many thoughts are running around your head. And when you wanna tell your best friend about it, or feel like you wanna talk about it on tumblr, you just come up with “I dont know” cause you just cant find the right words to describe how you feel…

But that doesn’t mean that its an excuse for how you act. Just put the past behind you. Its hard, yeah i get it, but you cant just keep being like this because you havent made the choice to move on. The more you hold on, the more its gonna kill you.